Small Wonders and Things That Go OW! in the Dark

And so it begins...by the time this blog is finally posted, I will have begun the official countdown to the next phase of my life...and for the first time since I was eighteen, I will no longer be working outside of my home. Please note the phrasing, as I have been soundly and verbally thumped by all comers for accidently stating that I will no longer be working. Slip o' the forked tongue, I guess. Jon has analyzed this from every angle and thinks we'll be ok...I am taking it from a completely unpractical standpoint...my life has moved on. I've been maternity leave from my job for a year, and I just feel completely disconnected from it anymore. I was really lucky to have racked up more sick, personal and vacation hours than God, so I've actually been getting a check each month. That ends in December...but I'm not as on edge about now as I had been. As I drove into town to hand in my notice, after a hideous and hibernation-inducing rainstorm, the sun came out and the raindrops were diamonds on the windows, and there was an honest and true rainbow guiding my way. How could I not take that as a sign of wonderful things to come?

Oh, sure, I still hurt at the end of the day -- you can't lack grace and skill to my degree and NOT hurt at the end of the day...but in this last year, I have physically felt so much better than I have in years. My body's finally gotten a chance to heal from the abuse of the normal daily store routine. If I am completely honest with myself...the only thing I would be good for after a few more years in that situation is a trip to the glue factory. When we were first married, I told Jon that he could trade me in for a newer model in eighty years -- I thought that was a fair test drive. My darling husband replied that he wanted to recheck the warranty, as I had been falling apart when he met me.

I am not always certain that a Stay-At-Home Mom is really that "Big Promotion" I've always thought about, though I am highly amused by an article posted at SALARY.COM that listed a SAHM's hypothetical yearly intake as over $134,000.00. According to this site, I am considered a CEO ...and I keep wondering who thought it would be a good idea to put me in charge. I mean, two weeks ago, Josh finally got up the nerve to stop sidling around the room and to take off and walk all by himself. Ok, what actually happened was that he's in this nipping phase right now, and he had just nipped the tip of Koda's ear. Koda was not quite as delighted with this procedure as Josh was, and promptly bounced down and away. Josh stood up, and took three steps, in the direction of Koda, for what I can only assume was another attempt at a Tyson. It was a proud Mommy-moment, but my first thought was that I
needed to get a case of duct tape and superglue! I didn't, but I should have...because now the Roo can CLIMB!!!! I keep waiting for the moment when I round a corner to find Josh free-hanging off of the overhead light fixtures...I picture Josh whirling around on the ceiling fans like Kermit in the Muppet Movie...and I should confess that I find that idea awfully darned funny. Can't imagine that Mom would approve...(but you know, the Fates gave this poor innocent critter into our hands...and ceiling fans happen).




Speaking of things delivered into our hands, about a week or so ago, I got up to do the five-thirty Elsie-gig, and went into Josh's room. In an attempt to keep him as sleep-inclined as possible, we have made sure that all lights are off at night...Of course, this means that I clump and crash into every conceivable obstacle between our room and his, but generally, once I get him changed, hooked up, and settled, he's out, and there is an ever-so-slim chance that I can "snooze-alarm" him for another blessed thirty minutes or so. I have told Jon that if Josh wakes up completely, due to any noise or light on Jon's part, that I get to throw Koda at Jon. Jon knows this and feels this is fair, Koda just gets even more confused. On this particular morning,
I noticed that Jon was pacing through the rooms in a particularly agitated fashion...and turning on all sorts of lights. Could he not find his phone? Were his keys lost? Did he not realize that light would turn my sleeping innocent into a wide-eyed and bushy-tailed bouncing, climbing, hysterically laughing creature (in total contrast to my glaring, grouchy, boiled-bat-on-toast morning persona)...and that SOMEBODY'S death was IMMINENT!!!! Sure enough, Josh woke up for real, and I marched out to thump on my beloved husband. His eyes were wide, and with a worried glance at our bedroom, he explained that he had been trying to catch this "GREAT, BIG SQUIRREL" that had jumped off of a blind and run down his arm. Koda had then cornered it in our closet. What was worse was that Jon was running really late, and had to leave me and Josh to catch it ourselves, but he did call his dad, Tim, to come over and help us catch it. I've heard stories about how nasty and mean squirrels are, especially when cornered...and I was terrified that it would get enraged and go after Josh. Thankfully, Tim got here in minutes, and armed with only a broom and a box, he went in after The Beast --which turned out to be a very teeny, tiny, itty, bitty, three inch long deeply confused baby flying squirrel. Say it with me, folks...." AWWWWW, CUTE!!!!" It ran right into the box, and we let it loose outside, where it bounded away with little leaps of flying squirrel joy. In a related story, Jon has firmly requested that we find any other story to tell from now on. Any other story? Whoo-Hoo!


Thanksgiving was a hoot. Josh was all smiles and happy-go-lucky flirtation, and had everyone eating out of his hand like deer at a petting zoo...Again, everyone was offering him a pony... in fact, _many_ ponies, and again, I wasn't even offered _one_. I bring the boy, and I am forgotten. *Sniff* Anyone know how to put a saddle on a flying squirrel?