Vampires in the Snow

Josh likes re-enactments...he is especially fond of reenacting the scene from AIRPLANE where "Ted" was describing his drinking problem. Josh has never really had any fondness for bottles and hasn't been overly impressed with sippy cups, so Jon decided that we should try getting him onto "big-boy" cups. Josh will raise the little cup to his lips with both hands, pause to grin at us while we mime the motions to drink, and then he will bring the cup level with his mouth -- where he will then splash his face and dump its entire contents into his lap. Oh, he can drink well enough now, but I think he gets a kick out of watching me scramble and fuss to clean it up. We are also attempting to teach Josh how to use a spoon...and I'm trying to tarp off the entire room -- although given Josh's aim and skill in the matter, it might be wiser to cordon off ten miles around our home. Josh will stab at his food with his spoon, and then when he's caught something in it, he will throw it over his head...and down his back. I know Josh has to learn this stuff, but I really think I should be delegating some of these joys of parenting to his father. Jon keeps asking if he can do anything more to help out, and I think I should be encouraging the male bonding. Years from now, Jon can tell all of Josh's future girlfriends about the miraculous ropes of snotty oatmeal that he dragged out of Josh's nose. I like this idea. I REALLY like this idea. Yep...I think as of this weekend, Daddy and Josh work on Spoon Practice, and I will watch from the safety of a Haz-Mat suit, and laugh hysterically.


Speaking of bio-hazards...I think I'm going to have to add more garlic to our diet. Jon and I usually try to be fair about who gets to deal with the diapers, but there have been times when we try to stall, and whoever gets the best line (or at least the line that we find both amusing)usually gets to sit it out and the other has do go in and wade through whatever needs waded through. "Oh yeah? Well, I changed a diaper that had more ___ in it than a full session of Congress in an election year." (I said it made us laugh, I didn't say you'd be amused.) Josh has little patience with either dirty diapers, or our jokes, and he'll only let this go on for a few moments. He has learned the art of "glomping" -- which is a term we picked up at the anime conventions. It means "a full-out charge culminating in a flying-bear-hug" -- (you ain't seen nuthin' yet until you've seen a grown adult in a Sailor Moon costume hurling herself at some poor sap at the end of the hall at top speed -- of course, there was one year when a six-foot tall, black gentleman was the one in the Sailor Moon costume...and watching him glomp the poor saps at the end of the hall brought the experience to an entirely different level -- ah, memories).



An impatient, glomping Roo is not a good thing (just look at what he's done to his crib rail !).








A week ago he not only glomped me, but leaned in like he was going to hug or kiss me
-- AND BIT THE CHEST THAT FEEDS HIM!!!! Jon didn't fare much better two days ago. We were playing the same game again, and by God! Josh had had enough...He marched up to Jon and stared him down, and tapped him. When poor Jon smiled and reached out for him (totally misunderstanding Josh's true intent), Josh reached out and with a quick swipe, he attempted to rip out a substantial swath of Jon's chest hair. So, having finally learned our lesson, we (I) have decided that from now on, Jon will simply change all of the really horrible diapers and I won't. Heck, that was easy. I'm getting really good with this whole delegating thing. Decision made and no more stalling -- and both of our chest areas shall remain intact from now on.

Which is more than can be said for my lower back and my arm. Josh's so big...he's almost outgrown the 18 month-old clothing, he wears a size 8 in children's shoes, and he's almost up to my waist now. He has gotten so incredibly tall, but more importantly, he's finally figured out how strong he really is. When I was little, I found a beagle puppy with a collar wandering our neighborhood. I got the bright idea to find its home and wouldn't you know, that stupid beagle nearly dislocated my arm as it literally dragged me up and down every darn block in town. Three hours later I found its owner and went home nursing my damaged shoulder and grousing about beagles...( it was a full two months after this incident before I would be able to bring myself to even read PEANUTS again. Stupid beagles.) -- Josh isn't stupid, but in strength and sheer determination, he reminds me of that racken-fracken beagle puppy. More importantly, he's reminding my arm, which keeps locking at the elbow while attempting to bend in the wrong direction. We're still trying to get him back on his sleeping-through-the-night routine...but it's been hampered by a couple of things. Josh tosses around in his sleep and kicks off his blankets...and his stomach's still adjusting to the heavier, spicier adult food we've been offering him -- He would have to have inherited my love of pepperoni pizza. So, we put him down for the night, and he starts to talk or laugh or yell...in his sleep! Sometimes, I lean against his crib and stroke the back of his neck and he settles back down...other times, when his stomach is rebelling against the big-kid food, I have to reach all the way down to him and haul up what feels like thirty-pounds of dead weight. I have to stand on tip-toe to get positioned and balanced well enough to get him out of the crib, and most of the time he continues his sleeping conversations. A few doses of gripe water and some time in a fuzzy blanket, and he snuggles down to sleep...but it does tend to shorten the nights substantially.

The weather has been causing any number of troubles lately...we probably got about four or five inches of snow and several days of freezing rain, and my attempts to gallivant were rather curtailed. I've had to do a boy-hand off to the neighbors so that I could do battle with the frozen pipes, armed only with a hairdryer and a fuzzy robe...Our basement is dry, but sooooo low, and I felt like I was trying to audition for the part of a hobbit as I ducked my head below the droopy insulation and cobwebby beams...It took me forty-five minutes and a scalding bath to finally stop walking around like Quasimodo. We've lost power once, and on a few particularly cold days, we even found a leak in our water system ... that got resolved quickly, but it was not fun...well, not fun for me...For Josh, though....

We took him outside to enjoy his first two real snow days. It took about thirty minutes to get two pairs of pants, one pair of socks, two coats, two mittens and the fabulously silly penguin hat (Thank you, "Grandma" Nancy -- it was adorable!!!)

on him for two twenty minute jaunts outside. The snow was almost up to his knees, but he was so happy. He waddled around, arms out as though he were getting ready to take off, stomping firmly into the snow, tasting it on his tongue and just watching it in absolute wonder. As with every new experience he's had, he waited, watched and studied every aspect he could with an intensity that seems well beyond his years. I am really enjoying this part of the Mommy-hood thing...when he discovers something new, it's like I'm being allowed to discover something new right along with him.






Wait a minute...does that mean that I have to discover puberty again?!! Aw, He-yell, No. Jon, really I mean it this time --- find that contract we got when Josh was born...there's got to be a loophole somewhere.

(Josh's very first snow angel)