Five Down

There is so much more to this story...and someday, you'll get to hear all of it...but today,for now, you just need to know this.





The day did not begin like any other day. You could feel that something was going on, the way you can feel the whump of a car stereo miles before the car itself swerves around the corner. It was hot and sticky...and of course, it was one of the few times in my life that I wanted to do the whole hair and make-up spiel...but the humidity was so awful that my freshly scrubbed head never fully dried. I think Auntie Suzing developed tennis elbow as she made the valiant attempt to dry out the chunky, plastic curlers on my head, but an hour after my last shower as a "free woman", I still looked like I had just come out of the pool. Around me, the cast was assembling and buzzing out to each appointed duty. I just remember being numb and scared, and wondering how in the world all of them could be trying so hard for me....I mean, how did I get so important, and when was someone going to say, "Smile, it's Candid Camera?"


I couldn't breathe and I could barely speak, courtesy of a ludicrous allergy attack that had begun two days before that made my throat lock up tight and my nose run like an Olympic prodigy. I was just going to slug through, but my family marched me to a doctor's office where they were kind enough to get me some sample packs to get through the next two weeks. Probably just as well. In the last few days before the wedding, I seemed to slow down into bullet-time while everyone else moved around me as though they were in a time-lapse film on high speed. I don't remember much, which seems so odd given the fact that we had planned this thing for over a year. Key moments slow down and zoom into focus....Me, in this big ol' dress with a train and veil...I felt lovely, but I also felt like I was a Spanish Galleon, just cresting over the Horizon...a vague and persistant concern that my husband and his half-dozen manly-men would really still have their plastic light sabers clipped to their cumber buns -- slight amusement at my Mother and Grandmother's reaction if they did (My husband and the guys had been deeply intrigued by the idea, and had worn the light sabers at the rehearsal, and were not at all deterred by the probable reactions of my relatives -- in fact, I later learned that the choice to remain "unarmed" at the actual ceremony only occurred a short time before everyone took their places. Star Wars seems to weasel its way in to all of my friends wedding...at another one, as the bride came up the aisle the groomsmen, of which one was my husband, hummed the Imperial March under their breath ...just below the strains of "Here Comes the Bride." Somehow, it seemed appropriate). I had six bridesmaids one aunt, one mom, and one grandmother flitting around me like fireflies to a light source. I remember taking great delight in trying to get something to drink...and after I was buffed and polished and brushed to a high shine, I wasn't allowed to pick things up or drink out of a normal glass (likely because my hands were shaking so much that I was going to spill something on me), so I took a perverse pleasure in leaning towards the water bottles, and sort of orangutanging my lips in the general vicinity. Instantly, someone would have a straw and cold water to my lips. It was a hoot, and as silly as it sounds, that was one of my most favorite parts. I was a princess for what would be the first, last and only time in my life, and it was surreal and amazing. I could snap my fingers (well, I could say that I could snap my fingers, doing so for real would have mussed something probably), and someone would hand me Kleenex or whatever. Again, hoot-ness all over the place. In the real world, I am clumsy and not comfortable in large social gatherings, and while I'm perfectly capable getting people's attention, I'm really not completely comfortable being the absolute center of it all. I know that if my family hadn't been so on the ball, I would have just dropped. Somehow every detail managed to fall into place, but I still felt as though I were trying to walk through a storm of movement, still somehow walking out of time.


The doors opened to the Sanctuary, just at the music from Simple Gifts (as done by BLAST) swelled to a crescendo...and there I was...floating down the aisle, holding onto the violently shaking hands of my dad, David. Beyond a sea of faces, I found one standing calmly, quietly at the front. He looked at me with a quiet grin, and raised one eyebrow in approval...then flashed me an ornery look...Thankfully, no one else saw it, or I'm sure someone would have raised an objection at a crucial moment. Dad's hands were shaking so hard it was difficult to hold onto them, but we made it to the front of the church. After declaring that he was the one giving me away, he more or less aimed this wild kiss for my cheek, and actually shoved me into Jon's hands before he half-sat, half-fell down with tears streaming down his cheeks beside my mother.


We spoke the words. Jon looked at me with quiet calm and joy. I croaked my vows, barely able to lift my voice above a whisper. At one point, as Pastor Bob was reading a blessing, I mouthed the words, "You sure?" to Jon. His eyes twinkled, but his silent response was automatic. "Of course."


His hands held mine, giving me the strength to stand in shoes that were designed as instruments of torture. At that moment though, for the first time all day, I wasn't thinking about those stupid shoes, or the frills or the fuss, or any of it. I just said I do and all of it went away but the light in his eyes. We were man and wife. Somehow, after everything, we had found each other and now, we would belong to each other forever.


Man and wife. We kissed, and it felt like the first time our lips met. Maelstrom and vertigo all at once. I smiled at him, and whispered, "You know, this kissing part is important. We should probably do it again so they can get the good shots in." Jon smiled and was all too happy to oblige. That was five years ago, and we still do extra kiss-takes just in case...



Five years ago, so many of you helped us with our fairytale beginning. I want to take this time to let you know that your efforts have not been in vain. We promised each other in the beginning that we would be newlyweds for the rest of our lives...and it's been the best promise we've ever made, and one of the easiest to keep.


Our love and thanks to all of you for all of that you have done, for all of the bent ears and open arms. And to Jon, My Dream Prince and my True Heart -- Happy Anniversary. I love you. I always have.